Sometimes love feels like everything. We want to be close to someone. We want to feel chosen. That’s human. But for some people, that need becomes consuming. You end up shaping your whole life around a partner. Or the idea of one. And slowly, it stops feeling like love — and starts to feel like survival.
At White River Recovery, we help people who find themselves stuck in this pattern. If your relationships have started to feel more like a way to survive than something that brings peace or joy, we’re here to support you.
White River Recovery Centre is fully accredited by the South African Department of Health and has been rated as a 3-star rehabilitation facility by the Rehab Grading Council of South Africa (RGC).
Love addiction isn’t always easy to spot — especially because it can look like normal romantic behaviour at first. At first, it might just feel like you’re someone who loves deeply. You care. You connect quickly. You give a lot.
But after a while, you might notice a pattern. You’re clinging when things feel shaky. You’re thinking about them constantly. Or you’re staying in something that doesn’t feel good, because the thought of being alone feels worse.
Being alone can feel like a threat. For some, it brings up fear or shame. Others find themselves chasing relationships they know aren’t right — not because they want to, but because being without someone feels unbearable. These experiences are more common than you’d think.
- Obsessing over a partner or idealising them
- Feeling desperate to be in a relationship, even when it doesn’t feel right
- Losing interest in your own life when love isn’t working out
- Putting someone else’s needs above your own — no matter the cost
- Struggling to cope after a breakup
- Getting stuck in relationships that are one-sided or emotionally harmful
These behaviours don’t make you weak or needy. They often come from deeper emotional wounds that haven’t been healed yet.
Love addiction usually begins long before your first relationship. Sometimes it’s connected to early experiences — like not feeling safe, valued, or seen when you were growing up. You might have learned that closeness meant survival. Or maybe you never felt good enough unless someone was loving you.
Some people develop this pattern because they don’t feel secure on their own. Others are trying to fill an emotional gap they don’t fully understand. Romantic love can bring a sense of relief — a temporary high that makes everything feel better, for a while.
But when that high fades, the fear and self-doubt often come rushing back. That’s when the cycle repeats.
Here, we don’t just help you pull away from unhealthy patterns — we help you come home to yourself. This is about building a sense of steadiness that doesn’t come from being in a relationship. It comes from feeling safe inside your own life.
Therapy and support
You’ll have space to talk, one-on-one, with someone who gets what this kind of struggle feels like. Not someone who’ll rush you to “let go,” but someone who’ll help you understand what’s really underneath the need to be needed.
If it feels right for you, we can talk about where some of these patterns may have started — maybe something from childhood, or times when you didn’t feel safe or seen. We’ll also look at how you see yourself in relationships, and what’s been shaping that.
You’ll also have the option to sit in on small group sessions. You don’t have to share if you’re not ready. Just being in a space with people who understand can be a powerful place to begin.
Learning new patterns
We’ll help you identify what healthy relationships look like — and how to build them. That includes learning to set boundaries, regulate emotions, and stay grounded when you’re not in a romantic relationship.
We’ll also support you in creating a stronger sense of self. That means learning how to feel secure, even when no one else is around.
Building a fuller life
As your focus shifts from needing love to choosing connection, we’ll help you explore what else brings meaning to your life. You might rediscover old interests, deepen friendships, or simply learn how to enjoy your own company again.
This is about reconnecting with who you are when you’re not in pursuit of someone else’s attention.
You don’t have to keep repeating the same painful cycle. If relationships have started to feel like your only source of peace, it might be time to look inward.
Reach out to us at White River Recovery. We’ll help you take a step back, breathe, and find your way back to yourself. You can call us on +27 87 250 2843 or email us at booking@whiteriverrecovery.co.za to find out more.
Yes. But it takes time and effort. You’ll need to work on becoming emotionally independent, building self-awareness, and recognising old patterns when they start to show up. With the right support, healthy love becomes possible.
It often comes from a mix of early trauma, unmet emotional needs, and low self-worth. Many people use love or relationships to feel secure — especially if they didn’t get that security early in life.
It can show up as obsessive thoughts, difficulty being alone, or jumping from one relationship to the next. Some people feel intense highs at the beginning of a romance, followed by deep crashes when things change or fall apart.
